Friday, January 30, 2009

Sarah Palin Studies

Sarah is in an advanced course of study. She is attempting to raise her public speaking abilities from the level of inane blather to an advanced endless prattle.

Republican Stimulus Package

Republican Party Ideas to Stimulate and Invigorate the Country


Teach Creationism

Gay Marriage Bans

Attack on Science


Ban Stem-Cell Research

More Sarah Palin Prattle


Eliminate the Wilderness

Eliminate Wilderness Advocates

Speak loud and long about despising government while trying to get elected

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Pope and Anti-Semitism

Pope Welcomes Anti-Semitic Bishops Back To The Fold

I watched a Catholic journalist respond to this development on the TV news tonight on NPR, about the Pope welcoming back into the fold the Bishops that denied the Holocaust. The journalist said he felt that the Pontiff and the Vatican were surprised by the negative reaction to the Pope's actions, and that the Pontiff was not aware of many of the quotes associated with the most militant Bishop.

Lies, all lies.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

on the day after the inauguration

O Captain! my Captain!
Our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack,
The prize we sought is won. -Walt Whitman, poet (1819-1892)

with warm wishes for Barack Obama on his inauguration as President

On approaching danger

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. –Winston Churchill, British statesman (1874-1965)

On giving in to war.....

Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events. –Winston Churchill, British statesman (1874-1965)

Patriotism vs Nationalism

Patriotism is proud of a country's virtues and eager to correct its deficiencies; it also acknowledges the legitimate patriotism of other countries, with their own specific virtues. The pride of nationalism, however, trumpets its country's virtues and denies its deficiencies, while it is contemptuous toward the virtues of other countries. It wants to be, and proclaims itself to be, "the greatest", but greatness is not required of a country; only goodness is. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist and author (1917-1986)

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Very Scary

The other morning I enjoyed a pre-work interview with Sarah Palin on the ‘Today’ show. Always ready to interview someone over the latest Columbine or Casey Anthony type-tragedy, this morning it was Palin. When Sarah said that the media coverage of her was ‘very scary’, it turned my good cup of morning coffee bad.

She is promoting a DVD made by John Ziegler, a conservative talk show host turned filmmaker, called ‘Media Malpractice: How Obama got Elected’. The purpose of this work of art is to educate everyone about how the liberal media assassinated her character and savaged her and her family.

She uses examples like the Katie Couric interview. Let’s face it, she didn’t do a good job answering the questions posed to her, especially about what she read, and now it seems she misunderstood the question anyway. I’m glad she has an answer now, several months on. How astute.

Palin wonders if Caroline Kennedy's quest for the Senate "will be handled with kid gloves," and if "we will perhaps be able to prove that there is a class issue here". I think there is a big difference between a senator from New York and being a Vice President to an old man, and Kennedy has been taking her lumps as well. Palin is not qualified to be the Vice President; if the people of Alaska want her to be Governor, then they can live with it.

As far as Tina Fey’s dead-on impersonation goes, Palin sure enjoyed the limelight when she had a chance to be in it, and she believed in the old adage “any publicity is good publicity”.

But Savaged? No one savages like a Republican. Just ask John McCain about the character assassination foisted on him by the Republicans in 2000. Savaged? How about enduring the slings and arrows of Bill O’Reilly, Hannity and Colmes, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and Swiftboat Veterans for Truth, that gauntlet will give a person pause. Little problems like truth, honesty, and integrity never got in the way when that pack smelled blood.

When it comes to Sarah Palin, it is not the media coverage of her that is frightening, it is Sarah herself.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Virgin Parking Lot Construction Company

This is Chesterman Dullard, world-correspondent for the Mentone California Telegraph and Bee, here at the World Headquarters of the Virgin Parking Lot Construction Company in the little-Sunni section of Baghdad, where I have the honor of interviewing Nassir Assassan, founder and chief operating officer of the Virgin Parking Lot Construction Company, the small minority-owned business that is the talk of the town.

CD: Mr Assassan, can you tell us about the genesis of your operation, the inspiration that led to the creation of the Virgin Parking Lot Construction Company.

NA: What with the closing of so many Islamic-charities, I felt I must do something for my people, something to give our children hope for the future. Creating parking lots out of unused pieces of ground seemed an untapped opportunity.

CD: A noble cause to be sure. Tell us about your workforce and the skills you need to succeed in your business.

NA: First, I must clear the lot. For that, I need men with a slight-build for tree removal. By wearing a small suicide-vest, they can wrap their arms around a tree and effectively remove it from existence, quickly and economically.

CD: How much does that job pay?

NA: Nothing. You are rewarded in heaven with virgins that will service you for all eternity in celebration of your tree-martyrdom.

CD: What other skill-sets are required.

NA: I need big men for large rock removal. For this, I have devised a specially constructed suicide-trouser. A big man needs to but sit on the rock and salaam, the rock is gone.

CD: And the pay-rate for this stone removal?

NA: Again, nothing. You are rewarded in heaven with virgins to service you for all eternity in celebration of your rock-martyrdom.

CD: Do you have any other staffing needs?

NA: Yes. At the present time I am searching for good god-fearing females, for women who wear the burqa.

CD: And what task will they perform?

NA: They will do the final grading on the site. For that, I have devised a small suicide-sandal that does an excellent job of smoothing the ground in preparation for paving. And the burqa keeps the dust down to a minimum during this process as well.

CD: What does that job pay?

NA: Nothing.

CD: Are the women feted by virgins for all eternity in celebration of their martyrdom as the men are?

NA: No.

CD: That doesn’t seem fair to me.

NA: They are but women, it matters not.

CD: Do any family members work for the firm?

NA: No, they live in Miami.

CD: Is it hard to keep good workers on the payroll?

NA: Not really. Every few months we stage a loud demonstration and complain about the Jewish rocks and trees that are infecting the land, and our hiring offices are soon overflowing with potential martyrs eager to win their way into heaven. Allah be praised.

CD: How is business?

NA: Booming.

CD: And the long-term outlook?

NA: Not bad. And I hear that there is a new start-up company in the little-Tehran section of the city that is going to come out with a state-of-the-art nuclear device that will quickly and completely prepare the lot for paving. When that happens, there can really be progress.

CD: Allah be praised indeed.

The Power of Laughter

I would only believe in a god who could dance. And when I saw my devil I found him serious, thorough, profound, and solemn: it was the spirit of gravity, through him all things fall. Not by wrath does one kill but by laughter. Come, let us kill the spirit of gravity!

-Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, philosopher (1844-1900)