Shut up, you Teutonic Twat

In honor of Mel Brooks, and the 35th anniversary of 'Blazing Saddles'

Who knows for Certain

Only the madman is absolutely sure. -Robert Anton Wilson, novelist (1932-2007)

The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop

The story below is one of those only-in-America stories. A guy in Maine starts a topless coffee shop, including a topless waiter for the ladies, in an attempt to make it in a tough economic climate and 'backwoods' area.

The name of the woman who spoke out opposed to the shop: Paula Furbush

A furbush being anti-topless?

You can't make this stuff up.


The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop, a topless cafe in Maine, gives neighbors the jitters

By Rich Schapiro
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Thursday, February 26th 2009, 10:35 PM

At this coffee shop in central Maine, the cups runneth over - and not just with coffee.

The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop has opened for business in the tiny town of Vassalboro, offering cups of Joe, donuts and quite a view.

Half-naked waitresses and a bare-chested waiter serve up the morning treats. Rules are strict: there's no touching and only adults are allowed into the log-cabin style shop.

Dozens of residents protested its opening last month, but town officials said they could do nothing to stop owner Donald Crabtree.

"I've lived here 47 years, and we've never had anything like this before," said Paula Furbush, 47, a massage therapist. Customers have been streaming into the shop this week despite a snowstorm.

"It adds a new spice to around here that we desperately need," said Jason Bibeau, 27. "We're backwoods people. We need some entertainment."

Statesman

It seems like the less a statesman amounts to the more he adores the flag. -Kin Hubbard, humorist (1868-1930)

Octo-Mom, Nadya Suleman

Octo-Mom, Nadya Suleman, is still making waves in the Los Angeles media every day since the birth of her octuplets. TMZ has reported that she has been offered a million dollars to do a porno. There are phone calls and rumors surrounding secret conferences with Dr Phil. And the true cost of her ill-planned adventure is just coming into focus.

She lives on public assistance, already has six young kids (three of them apparently have developmental issues), and the odds are not good for the new young 8. She lives with her mother and the mother's house is in danger of foreclosure.

Legally, one has to wonder about her basic intellectual stability. And the doctor who was a party to this IVF charade should, at the very least, face legal penalties (perhaps incarceration) and be held in some way financially liable.

Rush in Modesto

I come back to Modesto, California after a long absence and find the editorial page of the Bee dominated by comments about Rush Limbaugh. I wonder if this is how the Bee deals with the real problems of the day, how it wants to direct thought and opinion. It is particularly sad, seeing that what is now going on in the States and in the world calls for less of a demonic voice than what passes for wisdom from the oracle of the Right. Angry old white men; I don't see much difference between Rush and the madrassas of Pakistan except that the god is different. The same hate and vitriol spewed out against all who do not think in lock-step with the oracle. There is no room for individual thought or critical thinking, and no respect for consensus, for the vision of the center, or for commonality of thought and desire as it applies to civilization as a whole.

What and where is Modesto, and what does it stand for? These tough economic times are certainly going to hold up a mirror to the heart and soul of this Valley community, to us as individuals, and to the Modesto Bee.

I love him to hell and back...

I love him to hell and back and heaven and back, and have and do and will. –Sylvia Plath, poet, writer (1932-1963)

the Sabbath

Some keep the Sabbath going to church, I keep it staying at home, with a bobolink for a chorister, and an orchard for a dome. -Emily Dickinson, poet (1830-1886)

life

I scrub the long floorboards in the kitchen, repeating the motions of other women who have lived in this house. And when I find a long gray hair floating in the pail, I feel my life added to theirs. -Jane Kenyon, poet (1947-1995)

Poetry

The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it. –Sylvia Plath, poet, writer (1932-1963)

Book Banning in Newman, California

The celebrated book "Bless Me, Ultima" by Rodolfo Anaya, has been removed from the sophmore selected reading list at Orestimba High School in Newman, Stanislaus County, California. The book, on Laura Bush's "must-read list" and a literature selection for this years high school Academic Decathlon, has been removed from the required reading list after a parent complained that the book was sexually explicit and anti-Catholic. Rick Fauss, Supt. of Schools, said the book contained "excessive vulgarity or profanity" and the school board voted 4 to 1 to remove the coming-of-age novel from the reading list.

The only thing that should be removed is Rick Fauss himself for the total abrogation of his duty and responsibility. What a role model he turns out to be.

A parent complained. Well, let us reduce the community to the lowest common denominator by insuring we abuse the rights of all to cater to an ignorant few.

Anti-Catholic? Has anyone taken a close look lately. The church seems to be more like a cult of uncles who cannot be left alone with children; why shouldn't some stones be thrown at them. Let alone the whole anti-Semetic side of the church that has recently been revealed in the holocaust denial controversy.

I also wonder if the dark secret of this controversy lies in the fact that this is a Latino coming-of-age story, and would be treated differently if it was about a freckled red-headed Opie finding his way to adulthood.

Keeping important books out of the schools is a terrible thing. We should remember the words and thought of one of America's greatest writers.

"The dirtiest book of all is the expurgated book." -Walt Whitman, poet (1819-1892)

Shame on you, Newman.

I am Large

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. -Walt Whitman, poet (1819-1892)

Favorite Repast

For some reason my thoughts drift towards the enjoyment of a meal down at the shore.

My favorite repast is:

A Bombay Sapphire Martini, dry, up, twist
A club soda back
A cup of clam chowder, New England style, with oyster crackers
Two dozen small raw oysters, opened correctly so they sit in their briny liquid
A glass of Sauvignon Blanc
A French Baguette and butter

It doesn't get any better than that, especially if enjoyed with my wife at a cafe by the side of the ocean.

Republican Stimulus Package - Part 2

John McCain told us that the Republicans are going to come up with their own stimulus package. Soon.

Oh, really. Gee, don't you think they should?

Perhaps Mike Huckabee or Pat Robertson could help America in some basic way, but I don't think that a crusade against gay marriage is what the country needs right now.

They could always make a name for themselves by carping continuously about the money that the Democrats want to spend.

But if they do, people might want to know about the massive amounts of cash that the Republican Administration spent on illegal wars, on torture, or in propping up foreign governments. Better yet, how about the money that they pumped into the VP's old corporation.

What a bunch of self-serving and empty shells these people are: old, angry, white Christian men.